japan

Your Cop Show idea is crap.

Yeah, yeah you’ve got the perfect network pitch for a cop show ever concocted. You used the they fight crime generator endlessly to generate the perfect ethnically and world-view-opposed team up ever seen. You’re thinking your idea makes The Wire seem like Elmo’s World. Whatever dude. It’s all shit compared to this:

Guerilla Group 8 : ???????????

This Japanese cop show was built around Mitsubishi’s current car line up, so you know it’s good.  Basically it looks like the guys at Mitsu paid the film crew to blow up a bunch of Toyotas, and drive their showroom floor around looking  1980′s good (in the early 90′s mind you).

It had all the right goods to promote it. You could never hope to reach the level of brand-synergy that this show had… show why bother trying? Just give it up and go back to your Bromantic Comedy because that genre still doesn’t have it’s perfect creation just yet.

Why does Nortega care? No reason beyond the fact that I own a set of the super cool and rare Volk Group C rims pictured below on the gullwing-doored Mistubishi Starion… and would like to have the toy gun and badge set even further down.

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Robogeisha

Uh, seriously… WTF?

Best review I can find: It’s the Citizen? Kane of the armpit katana-anal bleeding- tengu milk squirting-bleeding building-action-gore-geisha-an al bleeding-anal katana-shamisen-romance genre!


Superflat Murakami Supershoppin’

There was some dialogue in this originally of the school girl warning Louis of a bleak future of rampant consumerism and shoddy proliferation of bootlegged handbags. It seems to be removed from this version:


Japan for the Uninvited

Here’s a great site for the oddities found in nippon. Fun stuff. Check out:

The Celebrity Cannibal

Alibi Shops

Happening Bars

Funazushi

Manazai

Uyoku Dantai

Ikizukuri

Imekura (funny thing is the photo pictured with this one is actually like 3 blocks away from Joe’s place… not that I’ve ever been inside… they had a picture of the room at the display window that Joe spent an entire train ride trying to make me guess what kind of room it was… the name of the place was Totoro so I was imagining something with furry cat busses… )


Getting Arrested in Japan

police01 From the pages of debito.org, comes one of the best drafted checklist to follow if (and when if you are a practitioner of the Tao of Nortega):   WHAT TO DO IF YOU ARE ARRESTED IN JAPAN

Joe McCunney had a very sobering conversation with me once that covered nearly all of this information. I couldn’t have possibly been able to relate it back to you, but luckily for your hoodlum ass, Arudou Debito even gives you all the legal advice you’ll need, plus the proper responses to give at the important stages of your incarceration.  The most important thing to take away is DON’T SIGN ANYTHING!


Fight the Power

080316kabukichosign Wish I had known about this site long, long ago. This guy is a real fighter! His name is Arudou Debito (and is a naturalized Japanese citizen… he’s Japanese like Joe) and he has an amazing website were he chronicles his and others’ battles to clear out the racist practices of Japanese businesses.  Visit his “Rogues’ Gallery” where there is photographic evidence of his (and others’) plight to remove publicly displayed signs forbidding non-Japanese from entering.

Fight on Debito-sama, fight on! Japan is kinda like CB radio… one of the last bastions of ”civilized racism’…

honeybeesign1

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greatest yakitori on earth

Is enjoyed with friends in a place under some train tracks… near a Bic Camera in Ginza (but not Yakitori Alley). There are also an amazing collection of movie posters from the 50′s, 60′s, & 70′s on every wall. The proprietor is the most cinematic man alive today….

What the hell was the name of this place?

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Ribera Steak House

Here is a photo of the sign of the Ribera Steal Steak House:

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There are two types of men in the world: Those who have had a barely cooked steak at Ribera and weak-armed, vegan girls.

Every major fighter of any sort (boxing, wrestling, MMA, etc.) have eaten at this place. Good bluegrass music twangs in through trebley speakers.  Chad Rowan (aka Akebono Tar?) is probably seated near the entrance. You order your cheap (for Japan) steak and by the time it took you to read this sentence; it’s ready. Backstroking in it’s own bloody juices, you are ready to experience what man has been given incisors for.

Photos hang on every square inch of wall space. Photos of every man who has stepped into a ring to fight for a better understanding of himself and what his fists are capable of achieving. A youtube video could never give you the smells of this tiny place but here’s one anyway:

Where is this place of legendary man meat? First go to Tokyo, Japan. Ribera is in Higashi Gotanda(12 minutes walk from JR Shinagwa, 5 minutes walk from JR Gotanda, or 2 minutes walk from Takanawadai Station on the Asakusa line). On Sakurada-dori between Takanawadai and Gotanda Stations, next to the Red Baron motorcycle shop.